Have you pulled Uncle Gavin in your family secret Santa? Do you have a disinterested boyfriend who’s more keen to watch Boxing Day Cricket than participate in the long family lunch? Here’s part two of The Betoota Advocate’s gift guide to the boring man in your life.

Shitty Kitchen Appliance

Ask around if he already has an air-fryer, if the answer is yes then you’ll have to set your wallet on fire another way at your local Harvey Norman. There’s heaps of options like popcorn makers, electric salt and pepper shakers or if you’ve got some series generational cash buy a pro indoor pizza oven. If all else fails, get him a new sandwich toaster. A big one.

A “Nice” Shirt

Take it from any happily married mother from the suburbs, the common man can make some pretty off wardrobe choices if left to his own devices. So to stop your husband from wearing his favourite lime green dri-fit golf polo to your 30th anniversary dinner, get him a nice, inoffensive button up shirt from Gazman.


If your man is a tradie or a backyard shed guy who actually knows what he’s doing with his hands, he’ll definitely have a super specific tool on his wish list. So rather than screw up by buying the wrong one, buy him a super unspecific tool that does everything badly. On the
contrary, if he’s a white collar bloke who has to call roadside assist every time he blows a tire, then you can still opt for the multi-tool but score bonus points by getting it engraved. Which is very thoughtful cos he’ll never use it anyway.

New Hat

The great thing about men is they all have heads. And most also have receding hairlines. So give the gift of scalp coverage this Christmas with a ‘cool hat’. With hundreds of styles to choose from, he’s guaranteed to say “Cool, I’ll wear that!” when he opens it, and proceed to spend the rest of the present exchange wearing it with the tag swinging behind his ears like a Christmas dingleberry.


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