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A local man filled with delusion and a desire to seem cultured has defended his refusal to put on sunscreen by claiming that his grandmother was from Sicily so he isn’t affected by sunburn.
Mitchell Ingleworth (26) has today reaffirmed his proud Sicilian heritage after telling his mate that he doesn’t get sunburnt because that’s only for White people.
“Yep, my mum’s mum hailed from the fishing town of Sclafani Bagni In Sicily, the sun’s in our blood and I’m a proud Siciliano.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I totally get why my Anglo mates have to to use sunscreen, it’s the sensible thing to do really.”
Witnesses report that Mitchell spent the entire day at the beach, basking in the scorching sun without a care in the world, armed only with his misplaced confidence and a weird sense of cultural superiority.
Despite his pale skin, red hair, Anglo surname and only visiting Rome during his gap year 8 years ago, Mitchell is adamant that his Southern Italian roots have always been a big part of his life.
“My nan- I mean, Nonna, used to always tell me that back in the old country our family were known for shoe making, I guess that’s why I have such a good taste in shoes, haha” Mitchell said while pointing to his Nike free runs.
The Advocate tracked down Mitchell after his day under the sun without protection.
Mitchell refused to comment.