In a strategic move to profit off  the government’s recent announcement of a nationwide vape ban, the country’s enterprising drug dealers have decided to embrace the spirit of entrepreneurship by introducing irresistible bonus vape deals for their valued clientele.

This genius new marketing ploy has left authorities scratching their heads, unsure whether to applaud the great business move or to reevaluate the effectiveness of their anti-vaping measures.

“Despite over 5 decades of failed drug policy, warnings from the experts and basic common sense, we never really thought that such a highly addictive product would be the perfect item for the black market.” Said Myles Gowley (49), a local police officer.

The marketing strategy seems to be working, as a surge in demand for both illicit substances and bonus vape paraphernalia has been observed. 

“It’s actually perfect, everyone knows vapes and bags go hand in hand, now, instead of having to detour via the tobacconist, I can get everything I need at the one place and be ready for a night of talking in a kitchen about business ideas that will never come to fruition.” Said one anonymous source.

As dealers everywhere celebrate the government’s crackdown on disposable vapes, many say that the size of this blackmarket could be in the billions, it’s safe to say that many dealers are in more than a chipper mood today.

“This is amazing, dealers have really been under attack around the world with lots of governments deciding to scrap heavy handed drug prohibition and making it easier and safer to acquire drugs, which made it a lot harder for us to put food on the table. With this vape ban announcement it’s just great to finally get a win for once you know?” Said one unnamed drug dealer as he wiped away a tear of joy.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here