As Christmas edges closer, the nation’s mums are gearing up for a the onslaught of unwanted scented candles thats coming their way, courtesy of a well-intentioned but slightly misguided gesture from their thoughtless offspring and ‘dearest’ family friends.

Yes it’s true. Scented candles have become the unwanted currency of appreciation this Christmas. It’s become the go-to gift for every hard-working mum around Australia.

“I just know Mum would love this” Lena told Betoota after she proudly selected a lavender-scented candle for her beloved mum who sacrificed everything to ensure all her needs growing up were met.

“It should calm her throughout the festive season, it’s always a stressful time for her!” she added, thinking her thoughtful gift makes up for the fact she hasn’t lifted a single finger when it came to helping organise Christmas lunch.

Meanwhile, family friend Karen, having exhausted all creative options, has also resigned herself to yet another vanilla-scented candle purchase for her dearest friend of over 30 years.

“You really can’t go wrong with a scented candle, it’s a classic,” she defended.

As mums across the country gird their loins for the impending scented onslaught, they collectively begin to make room on their mantelpieces and cupboards for the influx of unwanted candles that will most certainly end up being re-gifted.

So, as Australia’s mums prepare for a week of aromatic bombardment, they smile politely, pretending to grateful for yet another fucking scented candle that has been forced upon them come Christmas.

More to come.


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