Local mayor, Councillor Keith Carton has today announced a brief setback in the installation of new Transport Office downtown.

Speaking to media today out front of the Diamantina Pastoral Hotel, the Lord Mayor said his office were torn on which specific near-derelict shopping plaza will win the bid to host the RTA.

“We are looking for the right place. It’s ended up being a bit more difficult than we thought,” said Carton.

Above: Lord Mayor Keith Carton addressed the media in Downtown Betoota

“What we want is a spookily quiet shopping centre with at least eight shopfronts permanently boarded up by roller doors,”

As is tradition in suburban Australia, maritime and transport offices are almost always located within the most bizarre and out-of-the-way shopping plazas possible. Usually accompanied by at least one Vietnamese nail salon as well as the surrounding areas last surviving Blockbuster video franchise.

With large amounts of Australians increasingly being pressured into dealing with state licencing and transport bureacracy online, it is key for local councils to make sure the RTA’s are situated in the least desirable location possible, in order to limit the amount of employees needed to process simple queries and renewals in person.

Keith Carton says the proposed location is currently being tossed up between the “Betoots Sunshine Arcade” and the “South Downtown Betoota Shopalot Plaza”

“The plaza needs to have an outdated and unmaintained 1980s decore. As well as a resident vagrant that may or may not of some sort of visible open wound,”

“We already have one disgusting RTA in the northside of town, but obviously there aren’t enough car parks for all the disqualified drivers to park in, when it’s time for them to pick up their licences,”

“It also needs to be near the Centrelink and Medicare branches. But not too close.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here