25 July, 2016 16:45


Local Sharkies die-hard and lead instigator in the 2005 Cronulla Riots, Sharryd Clayne, says life couldn’t be any better down in The Shire.

“Mate, we’ve got Pauline in the Senate, Trump in the White House and fifteen on the fuckin’ trot” roars the 25-year-old brickies labourer between sips from his 600ml Monster Energy drink.

“I’ve been dreaming about all these things since I was 18 waving that Aussie flag on the beach, telling the wogs to fuck off”

“I am very proud in my country and very proud of my team,”

However, when questioned about the possible parallels between the Cronulla Sharks Football side’s 15-match winning streak, and their recent increase in non-Anglo players, Mr Clayne says he doesn’t notice.

“Mate everyone’s the same colour in that baby blue. And none of ’em are Muslim anyway,”

“I’m not racist I just call it as I see it,”

“Its not like white people don’t get picked on. The sharkies’ last white superstar got sacked for pissing in his own mouth,”

With the Gold Coast Titans scheduled in for round 24 at home, and Pauline Hanson locked in for up to six years in the Federal Upper House, Sharryd says everything’s coming up Claynesy.

“I reckon we’ll be able to get a premiership AND a Whites-Only beach by November” he says.

“Up, up Cronulla”.



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