Last night’s Betoota Downs Council meeting went just about as well as anyone would have expected, as the community continues to deal with an increasingly unhinged political landscape.

The immediate issues facing the community, namely the dangerous black spots on the local highway and third-world rate of potholes on the suburban streets, were once pushed to the bottom of the pile.

That’s because Ralph from Keppell street, a 30 year veteran of the Downs council, has seen something that deeply concerns him on Facebook.

Like any other level of democratically elected government in this country, local councils are still beholden to the fact that the boomers are refusing to stand down from the positions of power that they have held onto with both hands since they were lucky enough to not get sent to Vietnam.

And with misinformation-charged and highly unregulated social media channels now replacing any form of local news, pressing local issues are now taking a backseat to the deranged musings of local boomers like Ralph.

Today’s exceptionally conspiratorial rant started with the 72-year-old’s concerns about children’s books that feature sexual education material, but quickly descended into his fears of a global transgender supremacy, which somehow involves Communist China.

While Ralph doesn’t offer any solutions to his concerns, his decision to speak up has been validated by the fact that someone else on the council has had to politely ask him to move on.

This now means he is being silenced, which is exactly why he spoke up in the first place.

As his fellow council members audibly sigh, Ralph continues to deliver his political manifesto with extreme confidence, and begins veering into outright anti-semiticism.

At the 45 minute mark, Ralph appears puffed and overwhelmed by the lack of urgency in his fellow council members.

“Well if you’re not going to take me seriously, i’ll take it somewhere else. God help you all” he gasp, before taking a seat and cracking back open his iPhone for an endorphin hit of media illiteracy.

The council meeting reconvenes, but is unfortunately out of of time to discuss the 18 acres of recently-rezoned bushlands owned by the deputy mayor’s wife’s family that has just been sold off to a property developer.


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