ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Believe it or not each election there is a large portion of Australia who aren’t really aware there is an election until the very day of it, leaving hundreds of thousands of Australians out in the democratic wilderness if they forget to enroll.

One of these voiceless individuals is Jackson Stollz, a 26-year-old-stay-at-home-son, who enjoys watching Monday night programming on the ABC when he can remember it’s on.

Though most of his friends regard him as being quite politically active, Stollz said he ‘couldn’t be fucked’ registering for the postal survey because he didn’t agree with the process – although he did post about it on Facebook.

“I don’t usually post things like this on Facebook” his status read.

“But the politicians aren’t listening to us. There’s a detachment [continues for 20 lines]”

The only thing the Port Macquarie native hates more than a representative sporting team from Queensland is the current government, which he describes at length on his public Facebook profile as a ‘pack of lyin’ dogs’.

“You’re fucking right that I’ll be filthy if these right-wingers get their way” he said.

“It’s not that I don’t like them all. What ever happened to Liberal degenerates we could get around? Like that seat-sniffing trainwreck Troy Buswell? I would’ve registered to vote if I could’ve voted for that pig,”

“But like, the process is fucking complicated to register. I opened it up on my Dell and just said ‘fuck it’. All those boxes and shit, they should just fucking put us on the roll and make it easier for everyone,”

“The cunts shouldn’t fine me for missing a local election. I care more about what happens to my DNA after it goes down the shower drain than who my mayor is.”

More to come.




  1. Maybe some of us want more choices than just the puppet on the left or the puppet on the right. And there’s nothing wrong with that.


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