A recent report by anyone who has been reading the news has found that Labor senator and walking headline Sam Dastyari really couldn”t have landed himself in more shit if he tried.

This comes after a report in Fairfax Media that suggests he urged Labor’s deputy Tanya Plibersek not to meet pro-democracy activists in Hong Kong.

“Oh fuck” said Shorten.

“Just when I thought all eyes were on Malcolm. Gotdam it Sam”

The report is the latest in a string of allegations around Dasher’s links with Chinese donors, which recently saw him demoted from leadership positions in the Labor party.

Labor’s health spokeswoman Catherine King said Senator Dastyari should consider throwing in the towel, that’s if he cares about the fucking Labor party, which no one really does unless they are the leader of it.

“We have been very, very clear about the matter of Sam Dastyari, that his political career is, in essence, going nowhere,” she said, referring to Labor leader Bill Shorten twice dumping the senator from senior jobs.”

“I feel like slapping the bloke in the face, like ease up dickhead. What the hell is all this China shit”

“Farrrrkk he’s in some curry”



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