9 March, 2017. 12:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One Nation Senator Malcolm Roberts has asked the Upper House this morning about the microwave oven in his staffroom, asking for the science behind the ‘magic oven’ that warms his lunch each day.

Rejecting the commonly accepted theory behind how microwave ovens work, the Senator explained that he didn’t believe radiowaves could defrost a meat pie in three minutes.

“I mean, seriously,” he said.

“There’s something more going on. Something we’re not being told about. You know that these science ovens are banned in Russia? Doesn’t that tell you something? It’s impossible to defrost a meat pie that quickly with radiowaves – the same waves they reckon you hear on the radio.”

After speaking to the Senate about the microwave oven in the One Nation staffroom, a number of his colleagues looked blankly at the ceiling and wondered how things got this bad – including freshman Senator Derryn Hinch from the Hinch Batman Justice Party.

Though he felt sad that former Liberal Senator Bill Heffernan wasn’t there to put an end to it before Roberts even got to the end of his question.

“I reckon Bill would’ve just leant forward and said, ‘Shut up, Roberts you fucking idiot,’ then maybe thrown a pipebomb at him. Most of us just sat there like stunned mullets while he questioned the science behind the microwave oven in his staffroom,” said Hinch.

“This will be an interesting term.”

More to come.


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