As the Australian Federal Government faces it’s most dramatic constitutional crisis since we somehow managed to lose a sitting Prime Minister at sea, whispers are bouncing around the halls of Parliament House as public servants who would never be able to find a six figure salary in any other job, desperately dob each other in for having wog parents.

Another senator that looks like she will fall victim to the ongoing citizenship crisis within 24 hours, with Tasmanian independent Jacqui Lambie awaiting urgent advice from British authorities as to whether she is a dual citizen.

This means there is a possibility of a complete stranger with absolutely zero experience as a politician stepping in to replace Lambie in the Australian upper house.

Senator Lambie has she had sought urgent advice last week as to whether she holds dual citizenship, and said she will resign from the Senate immediately if that is confirmed.

Speaking to the Betoota Advocate this afternoon, Senator Lambie was more than nonplussed about this particular issue.

“Oh for fuck’s sake” she roared.

“How the fuck was I supposed to know”

As Lambie’s recently acknowledged Scottish blood boils, she stormed from her office in full Mel Gibson face paint.

“You know what, I’m sick of all of these High Courts toffs taking Aussie jobs from hard working Aussie politicians”

The iconic lino-floor feminist offered some words of advice to her fellow pollies facing the same issues.

“Aye” she yelled in a broad Tasmanian accent.

“Fight and you may get the sack. Run and you’ll get a job on the board of a massive corporation — at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance to sit on $200k a year to abuse people in the senate”

“Just one chance to come back here and tell the high court that they may take our jobs but they’ll never take our freedom!”


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