5 July, 18:01

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

ONE OF THE POSSIBLE OUTCOMES of this year’s election is that we might be heading back to the polls sooner than we think.

Australians are facing the prospect of having to cast two federal votes this year after last weekend’s result has done nothing except make the whole situation worse.

However, news that this might end up being the case has been met with backlash from the nation’s youngest voters, who’d rather have former PM Tony Abbott back in the cockpit than give up another Saturday afternoon so soon.

From Bundaberg to Bunbury, Millenial voters agree that “he wasn’t actually that bad” compared to what they’re witnessing right now.

Sam Gregson said he missed out on pre-drinks before a mate’s birthday over the weekend, simply because he was “forced to go and choose between two of the most uninspiring human beings this country has ever produced at an election.”

“Look, I’d rather have Abbott back then vote again. The whole experience was horrible,” said the Perth arts student.

“People my age have things to do on the weekend. We have lives,”

“If these chinless baby boomers can’t work something out then fuck the lot of them off, put Tony back in. At least he wasn’t afraid to put people in their box and speak his mind. I’m sick of it. Why do we pay these communists and pig bankers so much money to just jerk us off like this? Are you fucking kidding me, but? If they ask me to vote again, they’ve got another thing coming,” said the cranky 24-year-old.

Counting has resumed, with an election result due sometime before Wyatt Roy dies of old age.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here