A Current Affair Rides Out Slow News Week With New Story About Asians Buying Baby Formula
LOUIS BURKE | Cultural Gaffes | CONTACT
After managing a weeks worth of programming on the back of neighbours from hell, dodgy doctors and undesirably, updates on what is...
Man In Adjacent Toilet Cubicle Needs An Epidural
Grunting like a weightlifter chasing an Olympic record, the man in the adjacent toilet cubicle sounds like he would benefit from an epidural.
After heading...
Little Cousin Assumes Big Cousin Is Gay After Seeing Him Go Into Cubicle With Another Bloke
Standing in the male bathrooms of Betoota’s prestigious Royal Betoota Golf Club, James Beaumont (15), has bared witness to something that will send shockwaves...
Australian Filmmaker Criticised For Not Having Enough Characters That Smoke Ciggies
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local aspiring filmmaker, Maddie Benson (25) has today been scolded by Screen Australia for making a film that doesn't include at last eight...
Townsville Girl Living In Melbourne Struggling To Find A Wine Bar Playing The League
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With only three hours till kick-off, expatriated Townsville girl Crystal Creek (34) is still struggling to find anywhere to watch the game in...
Deputy Leader Of Apex Gang Stood Down For Giving Prospect A Haircut Before Gang Photos
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The controversial Melbourne street Gang Apex remains at the centre of an ongoing controversy, after deputy leader Graham* (name changed) was dismissed for...
Channel 9 Begin Production On New Crime Series Based On Trinity Grammar Haircut Scandal
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In a weird twist to a story that no one cares about except journalists who either hate private schools or have kids at...
Local Only Child Uses Adult Words Like “Perhaps” And “Et Cetera”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local only child of two high school teachers has today ramped up her hyper-mature vocabulary in front of other adults.
In a precocious...
Report: Last Decade Of NSW Rugby League So Abhorrent That GI Couldn’t Have Helped Anyway
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The CSIRO has today concluded that "but, nah, Inglis is from Kempsey" can no longer be used to justify just how horrific the...
“Antioxidants” All Of A Sudden Quite Important
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
Jocelyn Leigh (25) has appeased her conscience this afternoon after making a food-related compromise.
A few weeks ago the young...
