‘It’s For A Birthday Party’’ Says Bloke Buying Cream Chargers And Balloons From Local Night Owl At 10pm
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke has this week attempted to convince a Night Owl clerk that his late night purchases are completely innocent, insisting that...
“We Treat Our Animals Like Family” Says Farmer That Also Verbally Abuses And Whacks Sons With Poly Pipe
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Basin grazer boasted this morning at the French Quarter Farmer's Market that animals on his property are...
Italian Backpacker Somehow The Hardest Working But Rudest Human Being Local Fruit Grower Has Ever Met
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
High on the cool slopes around Betoota, fruit growers are ready to harvest their spring varieties.
To do that, growers...
Little Fucken Fruit Fly Watching Telly With You Too!
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTDuring one of the only 340 odd nights a year he sits down to watch telly, local bachelor Angus Pound (32) was joined...
Son Becomes The Man Of The House After Being The One To Yell “Hip Hip!” At Birthday Party
CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| ContactRichard Thomas had never thought his position as head of the house would be under attack so soon. At a recent birthday party...
Exciting Event Unfortunately In That Cunnovajoint Known As Homebush
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who has lived in Sydney for a few months has unfortunately stumbled upon the biggest gripe for music appreciators living in...
Local Man Destroyed By Inflation After Only Earning A Wage His Entire Working Life
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact50 years of inflation has just come back to bite local man, Damien Hardy (68), after the penniless fool only earnt a wage...
FINANCE | Take Back Control Of Your Finances By Cooking Eggs On Toast For Breakfast AND Dinner
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTI'm Dr Chet Spevens, Betoota's foremost finance guru and wealth creation expert. Since the RBA began hiking rates, I've...
Ultra-Luxury Penthouse Apartment Offers Residents Majestic Views OfThe Slum Forming On The City’s Edge Far Below
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | ContactBetoota's Old City District has officially stepped into the 21st century with a dazzling 126-story solar glass skyscraper unveiling today.The opulent marvel packs...
Elderly Hollywood Star Reveals Details Of Disturbing Relationship With Woman His Own Age
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA beloved elderly celebrity has let society down again after making it public knowledge that he is in a relationship with a woman...
