During one of the only 340 odd nights a year he sits down to watch telly, local bachelor Angus Pound (32) was joined by a pesky little fruit fly who figured he’d watch a bit of telly too.

Known for being small enough to disappear from sight but big enough to buzz in your ears, fruit flies are known to show up in any living space with a bit of mess and never leave.

As he is a man who lives on his own, Pound is the owner of an absolutely woeful fruit bowl which many of the local fruit flies now call home.

And just like Pound, one of the fruit flies decided to wind down after a long day at work with a packet of CCs, a can of beer and some shitty reality TV show that he slags off but really enjoys unironically deep down.

“Oh fucking hell,” said Pound as the fruit fly passed by his eyeline, obstructing his view of English people arguing on a beach in Spain.

“Where’d it go? Oh nevermind.”

“Oh come on, piss off you little shit? Is that the same one?”

According to Pound, he has tried squatting at the tiny little fuckers but claims they have a way of moving with the rushing air, dodging his hands with a Jet Li like ease.

“Plus, you know, that’s a lot of energy for such a small – fucken hell there he is again!”

“Go into the kitchen and get us the egg slice!”


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