Headlines

IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT Local Australian tennis prodigy, Theo Fukinakakas (11) has been informed by the games greats that he is too much self-discipline to represent Australia. Despite boasting an unbeaten record in state representative tennis, the South Betoota Boys High student has been shunned by both his local district as well as the greater tennis community. Coaches, ex-players and overly protective, unfulfilled...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a recent survey conducted by BRW, it was revealed that the Nissan R33 Skyline GTS-T has been voted as Australia's favourite thing from Asia. The respondents, who range from single mothers in Brisbane's Northern Suburbs, to mid-level crystal methamphetamine dealers from regional Victoria, were able to give the Business Review Weekly researchers a clear insight into why the...

14 January, 2016 10:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Between tubs of chocolate ice cream and light-hearted Will Ferrell comedies, Samantha Hendry is trying her very best to comfort her heartbroken best friend, Margot Bowler. Approximately 48 hours ago, Margot was dumped by her long-term boyfriend, Jacob - on the grounds of her being too boring. "I'm trying my best, but she honestly thinks he was...

14 January, 2016 10:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a busy week of early starts and late nights in the office, Guy Rice (32) was looking for a way to get an extra bit of spring in his step. "I was just so worn out. I mean, it's never easy coming back to work after the holidays - but I was really burning...

14 January, 2016 12:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An amazing new feature on the social media platform Facebook has been praised around the world for it's ability to leave users in a state of nostalgia. The "Facebook Memories" feature reminds users of certain moments in their life, to the day. "Whether they like it or not, we are reminding them of what they were...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Chuffed local man, Andrew Morris has spoken to The Betoota Advocate today about what he describes a "fucking close call". When confronted by his wife, Angela, about a concerning spike in the household's monthly internet bills - the self-employed father-of-three was successfully able to shift the blame from himself - to his 15-year-old son. "I would have been in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT It has been confirmed today that the Imperial Leather brand of soaps, toiletries and healthcare products are the greatest in their field, that's according to Australia's grandmothers. While playing bridge at nearby RSL, local grandmother, Ruth Windsor told the Betoota Advocate that she refuses to fit her bathroom with any other product. The fellow bridge players agreed. Ms Windsor says the basic cream-coloured soap bar...

12 January, 2016 17:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local community groups in the US have rallied against President Obama’s proposed Explosive Detonator Laws, which, if passed, would subject all individuals who want to buy explosive detonators to a background check and the compulsory fulfilment of a 3 page form. In recent years, explosive detonators have increasingly become the first choice of protection for...

12 January, 2016 10:45 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT It's been three years since the first revelations of a massive cross-code performance enhancing drug syndicate in Australian sport. Today the Court Of Arbitration For Sport handed down its judgement to those found guilty in the AFL. 34 Essendon players have been found guilty, of them, 12 remain at the club and will have to endure an entire season...

  CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 72-year-old retired railway worker, Bruce Goddard says that until he and his mates discovered the music of David Bowie - they were quite scared of the idea of gay people, and almost certain they didn't really exist "Mate we grew up on Elvis and Chuck Berry, we never knew there was a community of blokes out there rooting...