Headlines

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | CONTACT The unofficial and self-declared office manager of Betoota's leading conveyancing law firm has been staring at her computer screen in complete silence for roughly three hours now. Like hundreds of thousands of Taylor Swift fans around the country, Beckathy Lewisham (29) is not doing any work today - or at least until she secures tickets to the long-awaited...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The most hated Queenslander outside of the rugby league is today continuing his stubborn campaign against the Labor Party's lip service to Australian renters, as South Brisbane MP Max Chandler-Mather rag-dolls the Labor Party's piss-weak 'housing bill' like Gorden Tallis in 2002. The predominantly New South Wales-based Labor Party have a lot of reasons to hate Max Chandler-Mather. Starting with...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The four day-long search for the missing Titan submersible has ended the way everyone though it would probably end, as reports confirm the vessel and all five passengers were subject to a “catastrophic implosion” at some point during its voyage towards the Titanic shipwreck. For a week, global media has struggled on how to report on this near-certain death...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Opposition leader Peter Dutton has renewed his call for the Voice to parliament referendum to be called off, despite the fact that his party have voted to introduce the referendum in both levels of Parliament. This week, the leader of the embattled Liberals has claimed that the proposed advisory body could grind government to a halt, and might make...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new father from Betoota's trendy French Quarter has today made the age-old mistake of acting like he's the first person to ever have his sleep pattern disrupted by his decision to have a child. Hayden Hoxton (33) has been unable to restrain his deeply seated desires to tell everyone how exhausted he is. On top of his tone...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A public holiday weekend can be a long one. Especially if you are being debuted to the in-laws, at an inescapable holiday destination - with very little forewarning about just how many culture clashes you are expected to navigate with the old man. That's what's happened to local boilermaker Bodie Furlough (29) last week, as his new missus shoehorned him...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT At 69 years of age, Betoota Heights resident Tony Brimson has seen a lot of changes in the way Australians consume media. "Mate I remember when you'd have call a landline to get the exact time of the day" the semi-retired car salesmen tells our reporters. "I was eating ice cream and milo when they transition from black and white...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A socially-progressive lapsed Catholic bookworm from Betoota's French Quarter has today spoken to the Betoota Advocate about the grave fears she holds for her community in the face of a cruel RBA rate rise and escalating cost-of-living crisis. Asher Altsheler (52) says it breaks her heart to see such a rise in homelessness and other devaluing socio-economic issues in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A warehouse in Betoota Ponds has today been rocked by allegations that the alpha male forklift driver with a boony moustache may have cracked a smile over smoko. This comes after nearly three decades of pensive listening and quiet pondering in the smoko shed, while tucking into the same salad sandwiches and enamel mug of Earl Gray. 66-year-old Ted Maley...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Debates rage in the break room of Betoota's premiere civil construction company this afternoon, as the office workers at BetBuilder Pty Ltd begin to reveal a little about themselves by declaring their favourite Tim Tams. While all the boomer executives struggle to process the news that there are 'other types' of Tim Tams - which of course they won't...