Dad Feeling Mortal After Realising Jersey Design From His Golden Years Now A ‘Retro’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A local old fella has discovered he is as described today after being told a jersey design from his golden years is a...
Local Hot Mess Thinks She’s Shat The Bed Up To Her Arm After Falling Asleep On A Twix Again
ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | Contact
WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE, RIGHT? RIGHT?!: A local bed-snacker felt the wrath of her snoozetime indulgences this morning, when she woke up and...
Doctor Who Fans Have Obviously Never Watched, Like, Star Wars?
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
It appears that fans of the long-running British series "Doctor Who" have been living in blissful ignorance of the fact that there are...
“Winter Christmas Is Way Better” Says European Who Must Sunbake Next To The Bar Heater Between Boxing Day and NYE
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
A European guy, Stefan Müller (26), who recently arrived in Australia on a working holiday visa, is boldly declaring that "winter Christmas is...
Poor Little Cherry Ripe Suffers Extreme Prejudice In Cadbury’s Stocking Stuffer
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
In a startling revelation this festive season, the Cherry Ripe bar found itself once again forgotten admits the grand assembly of Cadbury...
As Supply Chain Pressures Ease, Supermarkets Raise Prices Again To Gouge Customers While They Still Can
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
Prices are down at supermarkets across the country, customers can confirm.
At least that would be true if ‘down’ meant ‘up’ which is...
Parents Want Best For Children, Apart From Footy Team Obviously
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
New parents Lauren and Toby are ready to give their little bundle of joy the best possible life they can, with exception to...
Coburg Station Declared First Build To Actually Live Up To The Initial Artist’s Impression
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
They said it couldn’t be done.
They said a real world construction could never live up to the idealistic utopia of the initial...
Big Unit Sprays Oil On Leather Couch Before Going Shirtless
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In an ironic twist of events, aerosol products may just be the answer to one of climate change’s most grievous of afflictions.
At...
Delusional Froot Loops Still Running The Healthy Angle
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In breakfast news, a local cereal is just as zany as their name implies.
Coming in at nearly 39% sugar, Froot Loops are continuing...
