While the current political climate of preference deals with One Nation and backbencher hostage scenarios might seem like a good time for Liberal MP Tony Abbott to reappear in the public eye, it is believed that he will remain out of sight until everyone stops talking about how his Church molested 1880 kids in his lifetime.

As the most devout Catholic Prime Minister in recent history, Tony Abbott was far more critical of the flaws of the 1.8 billion Muslims around the world than he was his own Church, who’s highest ranking clergyman has today been arrested for a number of historical child sex crimes.

In February it was revealed that 20% of the Catholic Church’s clergymen were alleged pedophiles, as the Royal Commission found that the Catholics were the most likely religious order to be involved in Institutional Child Abuse.

When asked about his current relationship with one of the most notorious criminal organisations in Australian history, Abbott responded with “I… aahhh… I’ve given you the response you deserve”.

Liberal Party bad boy, Christopher Pyne MP says that although Turnbull managed to roast Shorten about being a sycophant several months ago, he is still very much a sitting duck for another Liberal spill.

“While it would be great for the Australian people to have their seventh Prime Minister in 10 years, we need to be wary of the fact that Abbott has been photographed with heaps of dodgy characters”

“I mean Turnbull’s been photographed with countless dodgy characters, but he was representing most of them in court, not using them as spiritual leaders”


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