Savvy pub goers are increasingly aware of promotional tricks today as regulars of Betoota’s least violent pub, The Criminal Lord, have realised that current Happy Hour prices are just regular schooner prices from about six months back.

Due to the fact most of us enjoy a cold beverage, Australia has some of the highest alcohol taxes in the world, a depressing fact that gives us yet another reason to have a drink.

Despite its healing properties, alcohol is not immune to the mass price increase sweeping the world meaning all grog has gotten more expensive whether it’s regular, craft or brewed in a bath.

Previously, many drinkers have taken advantage of pub ‘Happy Hours’ where select drinks are sold at a discounted rate for a limited time.

However, wool cannot easily be pulled over so many eyes at once and in the case of Criminal Lord regular Bernie Burns (54) Happy Hour is just a brief journey back to 2022.

“How is $8 schooners for two hours meant to entice me?” asked Burns with the sort of hard-hitting steel that could see him win a Citizen’s Walkley. 

“I can remember when it was $4 schooners for the whole night! During happy hour, they used to pay you to drink!”

“It shouldn’t even be called happy hour anymore, content hour at best. All the other hours are sad hours and we know it.”

Burns then ordered ten schooners at alleged happy hour prices as a saving is a saving after all.


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