Uh OH! Matty has dumped Australia’s favourite #BACHELORAU contestant Tara, only to be met with a flood of angry tweets from people who are actually emotionally invested in which Gold Coast-based Instagram model this robot decides to spend the next 6 months with,

This means there’s two left. Elise and Laura. Who’s it gonna be? huh?

Laura Byrne has been the favourite with the bookies and Newspoll for a while, and her nearly authentic chemistry with Matty would seem as though they’ve got it right – so do the odds ($1.45) tipping her to win.

However, former Hockeyroos star Elise has screamed down from $11 to $3, and her competitive streak shines through.

What we as a brain-dead, gullible, mercilessly bored nation are witnessing is a rare television event. A dating show so close, so emotional, so enthralling that you could literally cut the tension with a knife.

It’s a term that’s not thrown around that often, only during the finaldash of any major reality program, and one that The Bachelor Host Osher Gunsberg has landed himself in trouble for, after attempting to prove how tense things were by waving a knife around on set.

“It was a bit irresponsible in hindsight” says Osher.

“I just wanted everyone back home to see how thick the tension is. But yeah, a couple of the girls in costuming starting crying. Wasn’t a good look. Apologies everyone”

Osher says after being chicken-winged by security, he’s ready to take tonight’s final episode a little more seriously.

“Sometimes I forget we just aren’t on Channel V anymore partying with Fred Durst and Jamiroquai. Gotta put my serious dating show host back on”


The finale of The Bachelor is on tonight at 7.30pm on Channel 10 or some shit.


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