EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
A local bloke relaying a fun weekend story to his parents has allegedly almost put his foot in it, before remembering his audience just in time, it’s reported.
Jason Noll , a notorious party boy and loose cannon, was visiting his parents in Toowoomba for the Christmas holidays and had vowed to himself that he’d be on his best behaviour.
Though he was largely known back home as the guy who’d do pretty much anything, as evident by the one time he snorted a green ant as a dare, Jason has swapped his garish peacocking attire for a muted button-down, and his alarming anecdotes for some wholesome storytelling.
Partly spurred on by the glass of port he’d happily accepted from conservative parents, Jason reportedly attempted to connect with his father by relaying a recent adventure, involving a camping trip, missing toilet paper, a bum rash, and a duck.
“So Adam and his missus invited us all on a camping trip at their Stanthorpe property.”
“But unlike me, quite a few of the boys had never been camping. You know, real city types.”
“And this is like camping, camping. No cabins or showers, like we’re really roughing it.”
“Anyway, Jacob rocks up with a bag full of hair gel and the sorts, looking like he’s about to hit the clubs.”
“We all think this is hilarious, and we tell him he has to shit in a hole.”
“Adam actually has a drop toilet, but we thought we’d mess with him a bit haha.”
“Anyway, we’re all hi- ah, pretty drunk by the time he needs to do his business, um..and ah, yeah no one bought any bog roll so he had to use a leaf. Silly bastard ends up finding some silky oak…”
“He’s so…drunk..he didn’t notice until a few hours later but he ended up getting pretty messed up.”
“Had a really bad time the next day, what with the, ah, hangover, and swollen nads…sorry mum.”
“Swears he saw a duck whip past his tent but we thought maybe he’d had too much, to ah, drink haha.”
More to come.