In startling news for women nationwide, low rise jeans could be on the horizon, which also suggests bums might be out, and Nicole Ritchie thin is in.

Local woman Emma Lismore is said to have felt a prickle of worry during the Super Bowl, which she watched solely for the halftime act and not because she had any interest in football.

This comes after the So Fresh Super Bowl Half Time Show featuring the likes of Dre Dre, Mary J Blige, Eminem, 50 Cent, and Snoop Dogg.

Feeling that crushing wave of nostalgia as she remembered early Saturday mornings watching Eminem on Rage, Emma had sung along to her favourite 2000s bangers when she came to a startling realisation.

Chatting to our reporter, Emma relays her predictions for the year ahead, which is sure to send shivers down the spine of every 20 something woman.

“I’m a bit concerned”, says Emma, “I’ve noticed the 90s and y2k trend creeping in but I’m fairly certain it’s about to explode”

“That Robert Pattinson photoshoot was also another big indicator.”

“Fuck me, he fucking destroyed that, I can’t stop looking at it.”

Adding that with Jackass in the cinema and Korn and System of A Down touring together, Emma says she’s prepared to go full Lizzie McGuire, but there’s a few trends that stay in the 2000s.

“T shirt slogans can stay, but low rise jeans and exposed g strings can fuck off.”

“Pencil thin eyebrows too.”

“Mine are microbladed, so I’m pretty fucked there.”

More to come.


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