The final stages of a local family’s divorce settlement made a dramatic turn yesterday afternoon, after the father hijacked all reasonable debate.

Since first separating late last year, Mr Clive Jackson (36) and his estranged, soon-to-be ex wife, Claudia, have been unable to divide their shared estate as well as the custody of their three children without paying several lawyers thousands and thousands of dollars.

Yesterday, the matter finally landed before the Family Court of Australia, which is a superior Australian federal court of record which deals with family law matters, such as divorce applications, parenting disputes, and the division of wealth when a couple separate.

Among other things, Mr Jackson’s vices of gambling, womanising and functional alcoholism that have developed since becoming a bachelor were brought to light, as a counter argument to his claim for majority custody of their three children under 13.

Family Court Judge Richard Belling says it looked like he was going to have an early one.

“grog, strippers, gambling… The moment those ones get trotted out you usually know which way its going to go” he told the Betoota Advocate.

That was, until Mrs Jackson’s overly-ambitious lawyer decided to take things too far.

The Jackson children, who were present, looked on as Mr Jackson sat in the stand.

“What CAN you offer these kids?” asked Claudia’s lawyer.

Mr Jackson went quiet, almost appearing to admit defeat, before bringing out the big guns.

“This!” said Mr Jackson, outstretching his hand to show a fidget spinner in full flight.

The crowd, which included family and friends from both sides of the claim, gasped in awe.

Clive’s fidget spinner prowess became clear as the stress-relieving kid’s toy elegantly bounced across his hand.

“We want DAD!” shouted Jordie, the youngest of the three Jackson children, before his two sibling joined in.

“We want Dad! We want Dad!” they chanted incessantly.

Judge Belling says he had no choice but to award full custody to Mr Jackson, so long as half the estate went to his ex-wife as well as the car.

“I’m fine with that” said Clive.

“You can have it all if you want. I’ve got the spinner”

“Let’s roll kids”


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