Amidst the wall-to-wall news of wars, murders, famine, interest rates and a climate that’s about to completely buckle, a silver lining can be found in the state of the English cricket team.

This euphoric story comes as the Brits marinate in their own pathetic juices at the murky bottom of the Cricket World Cup ladder, a position they’ve found themselves in after losses to Australia, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, India, South Africa and Bangladesh.

After playing the role of ‘world cricket police’ last summer and labelling Australia’s choice to play the Ashes by the rule book as ‘against the spirit of the game’, England’s disastrous World Cup defence is providing pure feelings of schadenfreude to cricket fans around the world.

To capture the mood of those buoyed by the news, The Advocate spoke to Glenn Lanning, the pitch curator at Sir Warne Oval, about how watching the Barmy Army crumble under the weight of their own snobbery was a shining rainbow amidst a week of grey skies and dark clouds.

“My Instagram feed has been pretty grim at the moment, most of my favourite meme pages from the US have turned into a news service posting stories of war crimes and horrifying body count numbers. It’s pretty easy to scroll yourself into a deep depression.”

“So really Fox Sports is the only page that’s provided any giggles this week, and all they did was post the pathetic run totals of those English sooks.”


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