A south-east Brisbane mother of three is been treated for stress this afternoon, following an embarrassing school-pick-up-time incident.

Ashley Quirk-Whitely was pulled from her precariously positioned Range Rover Sport by emergency crews, after the full-time-stay-at-home-mum accidentally reversed her suburban utility vehicle over the front of her teenage daughter’s soon-to-be first car, a Volkswagen Golf

It is believed she was stuck for up to 15 minutes until help arrived.

Emergency respondent Sam Cranstoun, who was first on the scene, said the incident comes as a warning for mothers all around the country, as we head into the long lunch months.

“Obviously people in this area don’t get breathalized so there’s no way of telling what her blood alcohol level was – but part of me thinks rosè could have played a big part in this”

Cranstoun says he was able to treat the ‘rattled and hysterical’ wife of a JP Morgan executive quite efficiently after checking her vital signs.

“I just saw the Camilla dress and the raw squeeze juice sitting in the car drink holder. I knew I’d be able to find some Valium above the fridge,”

“I had her settled in a few minutes, while we figured out where the husband was”

Ashley’s husband, John, was contacted immediately, but was unfortunately unable to hear what was happening through the roaring ambience of the Queensland Rowers Club – where he had been attending a rugby Old Boys event.

It is believed his mother was then contacted to pick this kids and take them back to her house in Adelaide East Street, Ascot.

The greater Bulimba community has rallied around Ashley this evening, with close friends booking a table at the Oxford Street Jetty bar for a few mojitos.

More to come.


  1. You cunts couldn’t lie straight in bed. English cottage and a hothouse at Bulimba?. Shame, shame, shame. I’m Derrin Hinch, hick.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here