ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Tens of thousands of revellers around Australia instantly regret buying that first pint of Guinness on St Patrick’s Day each year.

If they can power through until the bottom of the glass, they sure as hell aren’t going to be ordering another one.

“There’s two reasons why I’m switching to XXXX Gold after this pint,” said Brisbane financier Kelvyn Macross.

“It’s a school night and Guinness tastes like shit if you don’t have that green fire in your blood.”

In recent years, social media platforms such as Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook have gone hand in hand with the Irish dry stout. Whenever somebody under the aged of 40 is drinking one.

Drinking a Guinness is an event and it’s often something that young people force themselves to do in order to post it on social media.

Speaking of media, Colin Price was relocated by his multi-national company to Dublin two years ago. At the age of 27, he admits he hates Guinness.

“I buy one pint of Guinness a week. After drinking about half of it, I take a Snapchat of me having a sip before I take it into the toilets with me and I pour it down the piss gutter.”

“Then when I come back into the bar with my empty glass, I gesture to the boys if they want another. Just to make sure they don’t get me another fucking Guinness.”

“XXXX is something that can keep you going all day. Guinness turns me into a mad man”

6 COMMENTS

  1. Kelvyn Macross. There’s two reasons why I’m switching to XXXX Gold after this pint,” “It’s a school night and Guinness tastes like shit.

    Drinks XXXX, yet says another beer tastes like shit. Bwahahahaha, I can only summise Kelvyn’s tatse buds are on strike.

  2. Well actually, the annual St. Patrick’s Day parade in Sydney was cancelled this year for reasons alluded to you in your article. Due to the amount of raw Guinness poured down the dunny and recycled Guinness ( i.e. Vomit) poured everywhere, the sewage treatment works were being overloaded. So the parade was cancelled for health reasons. The bullshit press gave other explanations for the cancellation but these are the facts according to my Pravda correspondent associate.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here