Local accountant, Dion Macey is not racist because he has plenty of black friends, he has confirmed.

Shortly before, and after, his twenty minute tirade about “what is best for Aboriginals” – Mr Macey insisted on pointing out that his politically incorrect comments came from a good place.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got plenty of black mates – and they’d be completely fine with me saying this,”

Throughout the entire length of his off-the-cuff synopsis of the socio-economic issues that surround Australia’s most disadvantaged minority – the 56-year-old accountant assured those present that he was, in no way, a racist.

“I’m probably like 1/16th Aboriginal anyway. Most Aboriginal people have got a bit of white in them. Why aren’t they celebrating that?” said Mr Macey

“I mean, there’s no NAIDOC week for white people,”

“Why should I have to say sorry. I didn’t do nothing”

Dion Macey is a member of an elite group of Australians known as the WEBBs (White, Educated, Baby Boomers) – an Australian demographic that holds majority of the high-ranking Government and corporate roles around the country.

A common trait of the WEBB is to assume that disadvantage or discrimination does not exist in their community, and to often draw parallels between their own middle class upbringings in Post-War Australia and the much more severe destitute that exists elsewhere in the world.

Despite the completely inappropriate setting of this particularly racist rant, Mr Macey wrapped up his spiel by informing the timid interns in his accountting firm lunchroom that he didn’t have it too easy growing up either.

“I had it tough growing up, you don’t see me complaining,”

“I had it just as bad as them. I never had anything handed to me on a platter.”

Local mechanic, Andrew Seymour, counts himself as one of the black people that Mr Macey considers a friend. He says he has very little to do with them.

“He might consider me a friend but I can guarantee you, he is not a mate of mine,”

“He can’t get through a conversation without making reference to the fact that I am Aboriginal and he is not,”

“Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of white mates, but that bloke is a fuckwit.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here