A local bloke has made a profound discovery this morning as he uncovers the news that Christmas lands on the 25th of December each and every calendar year.

The revelation comes as local air conditioning installer Steve Twitt (36) has decided for once in his life he’ll look further into the future than the oncoming weekend, and try to book some accommodation for the Christmas period.

Over the past 10 years, Steve’s Christmas has involved him jumping in on his partner Andrea’s family beach house in Noosa, a holiday which comes to him pretty easy because he can sit on the porch of a five-bedroom beach house and drink his father-in-law’s beer and eat as many prawns as he wishes.

But this year The Advocate can reveal Steve’s been told Andrea’s house is off limits due to incoming grandchildren, so it’s time for him to find his wallet, pull his finger out and sort some accommodation nearby.

Logging online to see what’s available from the 22nd of December to the 3nd of Jan, Steve was blindsided to learn that if you want to book beachside accommodation over the silly season in Australia, you need to lock it in three years in advance.

“Shit babe, there’s not much available!” Steve yelled out across the kitchen, “and it’s bloody expensive!”

“Well I told you to book it back in May,” Andrea fired back, pissed off that her partner had the organisational skills of a toddler.

“You sure we can’t just take the spare room again, I’ve got my old camping swag we could roll out? Or maybe we just stay on the street and I can set the camping trailer out the front!” added Steve. Furious, Andrea decided it was time to draw a line on how much incompetence she was willing to tolerate.

“Steve, book me a decent place this instant or you’ll be sleeping outside in that bloody swag for the rest of the year!”

More to come.


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