EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local woman whose Facebook feed is filled with posts about Malala has today expressed sorrow for her male classmates, after hearing all this news of a potential world war brewing.

Jasmine Wright [22] had been a staunch advocate for women’s rights after starting her creative writing degree, quickly becoming outraged by the flagrant disparity in genders. Learning of the differences in wages, stark ratios in powerful positions and the fact that corporate Australia often views pregnancy as a year long holiday, Jasmine often found herself passionately educating anyone that opposed her, in a bid to level the playing field.

“Did you know that there are more CEOs named John, then there are female CEO’s?” says Jasmine.

“The world is run by old, white men who are out of touch with reality.”

“It’s fucked. But that’s about to change. I am the descendant of the witches you couldn’t burn”

Like millions of sufragettes before her, Jasmine is committed to destroying the gender wage gap, and proving to the outdated straight white patriarchy that there should be no such thing such as gendered occupations.

That is, until news broke that Russia was invading Ukraine, sending whispers of a world war three.

Though conscription was abolished in 1973, the Defence Act 1903 retains a provision that conscription may be reintroduced by the governor general. This means all male Australian residents between the ages of 18 and 60 could be called to war at any given time.

“Yet again an example of an old white man causing war”, says Jasmine, “This wouldn’t happen if a woman was in charge.”

“I feel so bad for the young men who will be forced to fight, I really hope Australia doesn’t get involved if it does escalate.”

When asked about her thoughts on women being sent to the frontlines, Jasmine is seen pausing and heavily considering her next words.

“Um… well I’ll start by saying that conscription is a violation of human rights and no one should be forced to go to war”

“But if it does get to that… I actually think sending women to Ukraine as cannon fodder would be a net loss for the movement”

“I mean I’m not going to put myself in that environment just knowing that some man with half my experience in hand to hand combat will be promoted to the frontlines before me” 



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