ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

After a busy morning of doing absolutely fuck all, the all-star marketing team at the nation’s peak rugby union body have sheepishly revealed that even they’ve forgotten that the National Rugby Championship (NRC) is currently underway.

“Someone forgot to tell the fucking pigeon about the NRC,” yelled an angry employee.

It’s believed the pigeon took the morning off and is currently loitering around Hyde Park looking for bread crumbs.

“Whoops,” said another team member.

“We’ll get on it right away. The NRC is a key market for us and a great competition that fosters rugby talent. We obviously didn’t forget it on purpose,”

“After the Bledisloe and this upcoming match against, ahhh, is it the Springboks? No Samoa. Yeah, that’s right. The lead up to that has just really burnt us out. And then we’ve basically been put on notice by Twiggy in the west and the Shute Sheild in Sydney. Trust us, you’ll be hearing about the NRC by close of business. You might even buy a ticket to a game! [laughs]”

Closer to home, The Advocate’s sports editor, Imran Gashkori, trialled for the reigning championship team Queensland Country earlier this year – and was glad he didn’t get the call up in the end.

“Nobody knows about it,” he said.

“And I’m not that keen on playing in any level higher, so why bother? I enjoy playing grade for the (Betoota) Porpoises, but,”

“But ah, yeah. I trialled for the team and even I didn’t know the season was underway. I guess that’s why they say NRC stands for Nobody Really Cares.”

The Advocate reached out to some of Rugby Australia’s board but all of them were still on cloud nine after finding out Rod Macqueen and John Eales know their names.

More to come.


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