A local concertgoer who has no personality traits outside of his embracing of the Australian cultural cringe is adamant he will solidify a sense of identity if he can convince an international touring musician to drink beer out of his sweaty, three-year-old skate shoe.

After paying big dollars and arriving hours earlier than anyone else, local fuckwit Gareth Pieterson has his shoelaces tied loose – in case he manages to catch the eye of the headlining artist that was very generous coming to his dump of a town in the first place.

Not even four songs into the set, Gareth sees the moment he’s been waiting for.

As the momentum of the concert reaches the point where the act is preparing to play his most upbeat songs, the crowd is absolutely pumping,

During a bit of a crowd-raising chit chat between songs, the musician’s gaze glides across the front row.

“I love this town! they yell.

“Who wants to hear our new song!”

Gareth opens his goofy eyes up wide and bends his knee up to take off his chunky early 2000’s era skate shoe.

“Oi!” he yells.

The musician engages him.

“What’s that?”

Gareth whips up his gross sweaty hoof. This is his moment. The moment he will talk about forever.

“Haha do a shoey!” says Gareth.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here