ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

To say the scene was confronting is an understatement – that’s according to Capt. Damien Rustle from the Betoota Hills Fire Authority.

From shocking car wrecks to fires that burned a million wild acres of nothing, Captain Rustle has seen all that a man of his ilk could ever see.

“But that milk. Man, it really cut through me. Mother of God and her Mum, too. I’m sorry, mate, but I can’t find the words.”

Those were the words of a 30-year veteran of the fire authority, now sitting in the gutter, who was present when a two-litre jug of milk from 2008 was discovered and disarmed by specialists from the Charleville Police Bomb Squad.

The Rudd-era milk was found by the occupants of a Betoota Hills student sharehouse that’s been handed down from friend to friend, brother to brother for a countless number of years.

Shortly after the discovery, emergency services were dispatched to the address and the heroic first responders went to work neutralising the threat.

Disturbingly, however, the occupants of the sharehouse elected to keep the milk after a police analysis of the dairy product determined that it was now potently alcoholic.

“They said they were going to drink it for pres tonight,” said Capt. Rustle.

“Jesus wept, mate,”

He paused.

“What’s wrong with these fucking Millennials? That milk came out of the cow when they were in high school. You shouldn’t drink it!”

Rustle then began dry heaving while our reporter rubbed his back.

More to come.


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