22 October, 2015. 13:20

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

After not even 24-hours in this century, world-renowned time traveller Marty Mcfly says he is very relieved to learn that his white privilege is still very valid in 2015.

“I mean how about my luck!?” says the spritely Californian.

“I was really worried that I could have been met with some sort of racial prejudice when I climbed out of that DeLorean… You know, I could have been strangled to death by an overzealous cop”

“But I was glad to learn that being white in 2015 is just as much of an advantage as it was in 1985!”

“In fact, it’s not too different t0 1955 either. Other than the fact that my life expectancy has jumped up about 20 years!”

Citing the alarming rates of imprisonment for young African-American and Hispanic males, as well as America’s systemic racial tensions, McFly says that he is almost considering staying here.

“I mean it’s a great time to be alive, as a young white male,”

“You get all of the technological advancements, like GoPros Ipads… As well as the fact that you can still get a foot up simply by being white,”

“A lot has changed in this world… But white people are still way less likely to be living below the poverty line or in jail,”

Marty McFly says his day to day activities are much easier to complete by being a white man in 2015. He’s less likely to be pulled over by police, questioned by staff at shopping centres or overlooked in the corporate ladder.

However with such noticeable change in American demographics over the last 30 years, McFly is amazed that white men have managed to stay on top.

“Like, obviously we have a lot to compete with. Women are now being afforded very similar opportunities. Not to mention the rise in Indian and East Asian academics,”

“What I am confused about his how the Arabs became such a vilified minority… Last I heard they were helping us kick Russia’s ass in the Middle East…”

“What’s this shit I’m hearing about the World Trade Centre?”


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