Though now she’s only a memory, Darren Loaf tied the knot for a third time in December 1990, surrounded by friends, family and people just trying to enjoy a tropical North Queensland getaway.

Tragically, only a few months after they got hitched at a Townsville casino, the then 38-year-old pearl diver was forced to kick wife Deidre ‘out on her arse’ for reconnecting with an old flame.

“That’s the good thing about being Protestant,” he said. “You can always get another one if you wear the one you have out.”

Speaking to The Advocate this morning, Mr Loaf (64) said that while he agrees that marriage is a sacred act between a consenting man and woman, he wanted to emphasise that sometimes it just doesn’t work out.

“Take for example that fucking show that’s just finished. Full of perverts with neck tattoos, what’s the one? Yeah – Married At First Sight. Terrible fucking television, but case in point mate,” he said.

“You can get a bloke and some sheila together on the day and they could live together forever. That type of thing happens in India and other countries of that flavour all the time. But you make two blokes stick together forever, in a legal contract? You’ll get fireworks there,”

“And all of my divorces have been pretty straight forward. I just write a cheque and they’re off into the sunset. Could you imagine two blokes going through a divorce? Fuck me dead, mate. They’d be fighting over squares of dunny paper and that’s not healthy for society. I say fuck it, leave it how it is. If they want to get married, then they can hoon off to some socialist paradise like Ireland or America.” he explained.

The Cairns local is currently single and openly admits he’s on the market, but that doesn’t mean he’s looking for love.

“Look, if some bit of kit still wants a nigh-on-seventy-year-old-man like me, who lives in a caravan in this sweltering shitnest then tell ’em where to find me.”


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