ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

State governments around the nation are beginning the arduous process of untangling the lockdown mess this week – and with it comes the return of certain privileges once taken for granted.

Two Betoota men who’re currently suffering the indignity of living in Sydney have found each other this afternoon and it’s all in the name of welfare and looking after your mates.

Gladys Berejiklian said going on a picnic is fine. Going to check on your friends and relatives is all good if they live within your LGA and you’re their singles buddy – or intimate partner.

Luckily for Jake Dearden, his best mate Tim Coleman lives just two blocks away.

Jake told The Advocate today that while he’s rung Timmy a few times since all this ‘crazy shit’ started, he wanted to take this new opportunity to make sure he was OK in person.

“I was raised better than to head over to someone’s house empty-handed!” laughed Jake.

“So I dropped into The Irukandji & Dugong Inn down the street from my moldy fucken flat and picked up a carton of this Victorian brain varnish and two fresh decks of lung beers,”

“This is just a social visit. We both live alone if the police are asking. To make sure my mate Tim is OK. He’s been quite of late and I’m sure half a carton of this horse piss will make him feel better. Who knows? We might have to make another trip down to the pub to restock? I’m enjoying this newfound freedom,”

“Anyway, if the cops knock on the door and demand answers, I’m sure Tim and I will be pissed enough to kiss in front of the policemen to show them that we are intimate with one another. We are modern men, you see. Always down for fun times.”

Jake then looked directly up at the sun and groaned, nodded at our Sydney-based reporter and continued on down the street.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here