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An Old City senior content executive has been forced to fold his Compaq laptop over his knee this morning after accidentally clicking the new ‘Hello’ tab above the ‘Photos’ button on a new colleague’s Facebook profile.

Late last night, Robbie Barn fired off a friend request to the new guy in the office, Gabriel, just to be friendly.

When it was promptly answered with a resounding yes, the 25-year-old M&C Autofellatio BBDO employee thought it was high time to do some stalking.

“I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t a poon,” said Barn.

“Before Friday, anyway. We typically go out for drinks as an office at the end of the week but it’s really more of a ‘cool guy’ thing, you know what I mean? We leave all the graphics and IT guys behind because they are lovely blokes, you just don’t want to inhale a few schoons with them,”

“But fuck my life, fuck my fucking life, I accidentally clicked that fucking ‘Hello’ tab above the photos. Now he won’t leave me alone. I get making one friend at a new job is something you should do, but why did it have to be me?”

Arriving at the Daroo Street office a few minutes after Robbie, Gabriel immediately made eye contact with his new ‘Hello’ work buddy and made a bee line for his desk.

“Hey buddy,” said Gabriel.

“What’s the dealio mister bobista?”

Robbie then smiled and said nothing and that he was busy preparing for a meeting – where in reality he was weighing up whether to walk downstairs, out the front door of the office and lie down under the approaching light rail car chugging up the street.

More to come.


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