ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A French Quarter father has been left wondering why the pregnancy pillow is still on the bed now his female life partner is no longer pregnant.

Darcy Cutler is wondering because the pillow has forced him to sleep on the edge of a queen-size bed for the past 40 weeks and he was dreaming of the day where he frogmarched the thing out of the house and into the nearest bin.

He fears it has now become a mainstay.

“Why,” he said rhetorically.

“I hate that thing man. I’ve had to sleep on a balance beam since Anzac Day. When the kid was born, I thought, you know, it was going to go away. In a bin or in the cupboard, I don’t mind,”

“But Chambord had other ideas.”

Female life partner Chambord Sunbeam told The Advocate today that the pillow is very comfortable and that going cold turkey from it is something that she’s not prepared to do right now.

“Darcy has been talking to you about my pillow, has he? Interesting,” she said.

“Well it sounds like Darcy might have to wait until Captain Snooze has a king-for-single special and buy some more foamy acreage. It’d take up most of the room but if he wants to sleep on his back, that’s what’s going to have to happen for the mean time,”

“Those neckbeards were on to something with their waifu pillows. I’m never going back to head only.”

More to come.


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