After a long day at work, featuring an early start, late finish and a passive-aggressive office-wide email about the state of the kitchen, Ollie Murphy decided he was in no mood to cook and sought refuge in his local kebab shop. The mixed emotions didn’t stop for this 28-year-old as the kebab shop owner asked him if he was having ‘the usual.’

“I was surprised at first. It’s nice to know I’m more than just a customer, but honestly, I’ve only been here a couple of times this year, how does that make me a regular?”

Somewhat taken aback, Murphy insisted on reminding kebab shop owner Bily Kyan (58) that he would be taking his chips with chicken salt to which he was met with the cheerful reply “Of course! Chicken salt every time!”

“Kebab with chips, that’s a meal. Grab yourself a Pepsi Max from the fridge!”

Desperate to regain some element of spontaneity, Murphy instead opted for a different drink.

“Now I’m drinking this ‘Coke with coffee’ like an asshole. [Sips] Who’s idea was this, honestly?”

After a friendly goodbye, Murphy settled down at home to eat his kebab and chips, watch The Inbetweeners on Netflix and contemplate what had just happened.

“Nah it’s fine just been a long day. Maybe I’ll order falafel next time, I keep meaning to anyway.”

“It’s nice to be remembered I guess. And he called me brother so that’s a plus.”


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