ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A youngish man broke the monotony of an afternoon from hell by retiring to the restroom for the sole purpose of looking himself in the mirror.

Our reporter, who was in the said restroom when Peter Pooley walked in, sat silently in a cubical playing Snakes and Ladders on his phone.

Peter let out a long sigh and started talking to himself.

“What is wrong with you?” he asked himself.

Then there was silence, broken only by Peter softly saying ‘Fuck’.

But while it might seem odd, The Advocate can reveal that they saw Peter on the weekend and he was doing some heavy-duty living.

“Why am I like this?” he asked himself.

Suddenly, one of Peter’s colleagues walked in to empty himself at the trough.

That prompted the 28-year-old to wash his hands needlessly and head back to his cubical.

As our reporter was leaving the restroom himself, after wasting close to 30 minutes, he observed Peter staring out the window as he shook his head with mild conviction.

“He will be OK,” said one of Peter’s closest work friends.

“He said this morning that he did three pressed pingas on Saturday night, cried in a stranger’s garden, then passed out on the nature strip in front of his ex’s new boyfriends apartment block,”

“I’d be feeling the same way right about now. Don’t worry, though. He should be right by Thursday morning, ready to do it all again this weekend,”

“I’m just grateful I’m a Queenslander and can still get pissed at the pub with his mates.”

More to come.




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