ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A popular grogman has broken with protocol this evening and forgot where he was up to in a cracking local yarn, leaving those listening to the man clueless.

“Hey, ah, I’m pretty hammered, but, ah, yeah,” said Peter Gorsch, stumbling through what he had planned in his head.

“Yeah, but, back to what I was saying. The Tirpitz was already done for by the time 1944 rolled around. Basically, since Belfast and that other boat, yeah, sank that other German destroyer, it was like basically, like yeah, done.”

However, the details of the aforementioned conversation were lost on Peter, as he looks to engage the next person who’s brave enough to lock eyes with him.

“Back to what, oi but, yeah, I was saying,” he said to a growing mass of mildly interested people.

Overwhelmed by the sudden dumper wave of relevance, Peter smiled and coughed.

It might buy him some time.

However, as he later admitted to our reporter, he couldn’t keep up to what yarn he was spinning.

“Yeah,” he said.

“What’s your name again? Fuck, I better remember this,”

“I’ve got PPA [post-piss anxienty] coming out my ears, but.”

More to come.


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