CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A Chinese spy balloon has been shot down off the eastern coastline of the USA, following days of alarm and discussion over how to deal with the foreign aircraft vessel safely.
The balloon was shot down on Saturday afternoon local time while 6 nautical miles (11 kilometres) off the coast near Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, senior US defence officials said.
With US President Joe Biden having approving the calls to blast the balloon out the sky and into the Atlantic Ocean, questions are now moving to what will happen next, and how China will respond.
Many experts assumed that the US Air Force or Navy would sort the situation with one their $850 billion defence budget worth of military toys, however, given the gun culture in the American South – the White House felt it would save time to just let the citizens take control.
Within minutes of getting the all clear from the president, convoys of heavily armed Myrtle Beach residents began making their way to the beach with weapons just as capable of as anything the US Army equip their troops with.
South Carolina media has today released photos of the local resident responsible for firing the killshot that brought down the balloon, with a high-powered semi-automatic assault rifle.
While media is yet to confirm a name, it is believed the heroic shooter is a recent resident to Myrtle from the North Carolinan outskirts of the Georgian metropolitan area and goes by multiple nicknames – including: The People’s Champion, The Shelby Sensation, The Reverse Apache Master, The Man with the Golden Dick, Doctor Cock & Balls, La Flama Blanca, El Hombre Negro, The Bulletproof Tiger, The Team Leader
Locals say the entire nation should be thankful for the quick thinking of this Southern hero, who is well known within provincial baseball circles as a man blessed with many things in this life. Namely, an arm like a damn rocket, a cock like a burmese python, and the mind of a fucking scientist.
MORE TO COME.
