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Adelaide residents are still fuming over their recent dip in ‘liveability’ after dropping 27 place The Economist Intelligence Unit’s 2022 Global Liveability Index – which somehow ranked Melbourne as Australia’s highest, and joint 10th in the world.

The EIU index ranks 172 cities across the world based on the five categories of stability, healthcare, education, culture and environment, and infrastructure. After a rocky pandemic, Adelaide has experienced the third-biggest ranking drop of any city.

This follows decades of Adelaide refusing to even bother updating their roads, laws or cultural offerings – instead opting to just proudly wear the badge of Australia’s Most Liveable City – right up until that title was snatched from them due to their weird practice of ambulance ramping outside hospitals.

However, with a one-month Fringe Festival and one famous Afghan restaurant, the cultured free settlers of the South Australian capital insist that they are not just a ‘real city’ but… a global city.

This claim is often backed up by a list of cool things to do in Adelaide, most of which centre around driving outside of Adelaide to places like the Barossa or Mclaren Vale, before inevitably drink driving back in.

Adelaide also boasts at least three ‘moving picture’ theatres as well as this relatively new trend known as ‘multiculturalism’.

However, while the city can boast some of the best Vietnamese food in the country, this emerging culinary scene has been let down by the lack of respect shown by the residents.

Namely, the fact that everyone in Adelaide still refers to Banh mi as ‘dog rolls’.

Not pork rolls, not Vietnamese sandwiches.

Not even the slightly less offensive pigeon rolls.

Dog rolls.

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