WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Prime Minister Scott Morrison is being praised for a thoughtful gesture today, after helping out one of his international counterparts.
Picking up the phone, Scotty reportedly offered the underfire British leader some advice on how to dodge scandals gripping his leadership.
The much-appreciated advice comes as Boris Johnson grapples with public outrage over the fact he was holding pissups at his place while ordinary people were unable to say goodbye to their dying loved ones.
The major incident in question is a ‘bring your own booze’ party at his Prime Ministerial residence, where up to 40 people attended during the middle of a strict lockdown.
Boris has claimed to an inquiry that he had no idea it was a work party, despite his former staffers saying he was warned and insisted on going along with the event.
10 other incidents of rule-breaking are also being investigated, with the general public in the UK being reminded about the entitled mentality that the born to rule class have.
However, with an attempt to shut down public broadcaster the BBC making matters worse, Boris was apparently more than happy to take some suggestions from Scott Morrison.
Lasting well over an hour, Morrison reportedly ran him through a raft of tactics that can messy up the news cycle when you are under the pump.
“It’s all about just keeping things rolling,” explained Morrison.
“People will forget, so you just keep chucking things out there to distract them,” he explained.
“One that works really well is picking a culture wars issue that allows people to feel angry at someone who isn’t you,” he said.
“Or, big military spending. Maybe suss out a few fighter planes or something like that, let em rip over the London to make everyone talk about that instead of the fact you have a disdain for the people you are supposed to be working for”
“But, honestly Boris, the big one is sport. You gotta get out to the Premier League or cricket or something,” said Morrison, seemingly unaware of how scathing British football fans can be.
“Like, maybe do a goofy kick, and they’ll splash that all over the front pages and breakfast shows”
Morrison then continued for another 45 minutes with other good tactics to keep the public from solely talking about how useless you are.
“I could go on all day,” he laughed.
“Anyway, if you kill the BBC, Rupert should go a long way to getting you over the line”
“Good luck!”
