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There are growing concerns for the cognitive skills of a dim-witted teenage son of long-suffering graziers in the New South Wales irrigation belt today.
This comes as the young man begins questioning the commonly-held perception that the drought in North-West NSW is completely over, as confirmed by the National Party and Australian media.
At 13 years of age, Buddy Kennedy has revealed to his school-of-the-air science teacher that he doesn’t know what rain looks like.
“I think you’re telling porkies, Buddy” says his Brisbane-based teacher, Mrs Ascot.
Buddy, who is used to getting roused on by his mother for eating the odd stick of Clag glue and playing with matches near the petrol bowser, holds on firm.
“No seriously” he says.
“I don’t even know what it’s like to see water fall from the sky”
“I don’t know what it’s like to see clouds that aren’t trialing a QantasLink flight to Sydney”
“Why doesn’t it rain here anymore?”
While Buddy’s teacher brushes off his introspective questioning as just a bit of puberty-related awkwardness, his claims that he’s never seen any water in the dam is only playing into the town gossip that he’s a bit slow.
However, Buddy’s old man sticks up for his Forrest-Gump-like son. He says these are warranted fucken questions.
“I know the kid gets a bit of stick for being a bit gullible and he’s definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed…” says Buddy’s old man, Bob.
“But he’s not a dreamer, that’s for sure”
“I’m asking myself those some fucken questions. Why the fuck are we still working this patch of barren cow shit?”
“You can run as much hay out here as you like but it’s not gonna be enough for these skinny heifers licking the spill off from the septic tanks in those grey-nomad caravans”
Bob Kennedy, 46, says it’s no lie that his son could fuck up an instant coffee – but that doesn’t change the fact that it hasn’t rained since the boy’s conception.
“He’s actually doing quite well for a kid who’s had to learn how to read off the letters with the big red writing on the envelope that keep getting sent here from the bank”
