ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local child has told reporters that he was horrified to be given a plate with nothing on it last night after telling his old man that he didn’t want anything for dinner.
When asked what he’d like for dinner last night, 7-year-old Colin Greenhorn said he didn’t feel like anything but thanked his father anyway for asking.
Just under an hour later, father Brett Greenhorn told his boy that dinner was on the table getting cold.
“Finally,” said the locally-ranked Fortnite player.
“When my Dad asked me last night what I wanted for dinner, I wasn’t hungry when he asked me but when he said dinner was ready, I was hungry,”
“So when I quit my game and came into the kitchen, there was dinner for everyone else except me. Fuck me swinging, I was about to call the Kid’s HelpLine!”
Brett spoke to our reporter this morning via telephone where he explained that he was only following orders.
He said that while he wanted his son to be a grounded, level-headed young man one day, he’s not running a ‘fucking a la carte service’ out of his humble Betoota Heights AV Jennings monstrosity kitchen.
“He asked for nothing so he got nothing. And this is news?” he asked our reporter.
As this has been an exceptionally slow news week, our reporter nodded.
“I don’t know why he was so shocked. He got what he asked for, just like in a restaurant. I knew he was going to get hungry, if he didn’t I would’ve taken him to the doctor. So I met him in the middle and made tuna bake. Only my wife likes tuna bake.”
“So there’s that.”
More to come.
