5 April, 2016. 18:15


In a surprise move, local patriot Daryn Lynch passionately defended his support for US presidential candidate Hillary Clinton at the Pastorla Hotel last night.

The Reclaim Australia member had previously announced support for republican front-runner Donald Trump, but last night changed sides after learning of Clinton’s unimpeachable record of bullying Muslims.

“Mate I love trump’s wall idea, we could use one of them between us and those slopes to our north, but I just reckon he’s all talk when it comes to bombing muzzies,” Lynch said.

As a proud member of both the United Patriots Front and Reclaim Australia, Lynch says he has decided that another Clinton presidency will do a better job of “pushing around muzzies” than Trump ever could.

“Clinton, mate, she legalised drone strikes,”

“She convinced that Hussein Obama bloke to kill his cousin Osama and pretty much lit the fuse on this whole Arab Spring”

“That’s the kind of lady who’ll show that mob in Syria that the rest of us aren’t here for a haircut. It wouldn’t matter how soft Turnbull’s cock is.”

The move surprised Lynch’s friend, another bigoted white supremacist, who had him picked as a Trump supporter.

“When he came out with that Hillary -loving-shit I laughed so hard I spat half a schooner across the table,” said Milenko Shamjanovic, who goes by his “Aussie name” as Milsey .

“When he’s not towelling up towel heads he’s showing his missus the bottoms of his R.M.s. I never thought I’d hear him back a woman to be leader of the free world.”

Clinton’s camp has yet to respond to this glowing endorsement from a true Australian patriot.



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