INGRID DOULTON | Community and social | Contact

In the wake of the 212 drug-related arrests at Sydney’s City Limits music festival over the weekend, NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has today announced that the state of New South Wales has been left with no choice but introduce a new model to combat drug use at music festivals.

The implementation of new 3D scanners looks to be both very time-consuming and very expensive. However, one police spokesperson says the cost to success ratio will send a strong message:

“The message we are sending is: either eat all your tablets out the front – or take a gamble with the 3D zapper. I can tell you, this thing never misses”

It is believed that the “blanket approach” to dealing with festival drug use has angered many punters – who argue that the severity of the “drug culture” tends to differ between each and every musical genre – many stating that they feel it would be unfair to scan elderly rock fans and Blues and Roots Festival in Byron over Easter – The NSW Police Force seem to to think it is very fair.

The state-enforced presence of 3D scanners at all registered music events in New South Wales looks to be a world first – having been trialled briefly in the United Kingdom – but pulled within weeks, after strong protests from both the community and civil rights groups.

In Australia, a country with far less regard for the rights of an individual, the scanners look like they are here to stay. But NSW insist it is not about revenue raising. “Look we aren’t here to try and slap fines and invade privacy… this is about the poor dogs, they have been flat out – the festivals are too much for them”

“Enough is enough. The drug culture in New South Wales is too big of a job for only a couple of dogs… we had one bloke found with 200 pingers in a condom up his backside. The only reason he got caught was because he became incontinent when the bass dropped during Future.

“We are gonna keep bringing them out though. Between them and the 3D scanners we will end the drug trade in New South Wales, one teenager at a time”

Is is rumoured that the technology can perform routine internal searches as people find more creative ways to dodge the police dogs that often patrol the gates.

Frank*, a security guard that was present on New Years Day, spoke to The Advocate about his experiences at field day:

“Yeah they hook us up with work to keep crowds back, but I spent half the day on my knees unclogging the toilets… they were so full of condoms. And I can promise you now that no one here was rooting – so you can only imagine what they were being used for.”

A range of activists and long-haired art students have taken to twitter in an attempt to half-heartedly protest the announcements, claiming the government intends to impeach on the civil liberties of the individual, however the Premier is standing firm:

“I don’t care what they do beforehand. I saw one kid that was so off his head he was out the front dancing to a beeping traffic light – the bottom line is that my dogs are getting burnt out.”

“In fact, save yourself hundreds of dollars in fines and court appearances by doing all your gear at once”

“We had to retire one of our best dogs at the age of four last night because he was so high on ecstasy from sniffing revellers all day, he started behaving in quite a hyper-sexualised manner”

“NSW Police Dogs will no longer patrol music festivals – we will keep them strictly for airports and train stations in the Western Suburbs.”

With the machines having a price tag well in excess of a million dollars, it remains to be seen as to who will fund the project, the police Force have confirmed that they will work alongside local governments to find a way in the immediate future, with hopes that the system is ready in time for splendour.


shutterstock_64289524Professor Ingrid Doulton earned her PhD in women’s issues from the University of Sydney in 2012. She completed her undergraduate studies at La Trobe University in regional Victoria soon after completing high school. Immediately after, she began her Masters at The University of Canberra with her dissertation in women’s sport. She is chairwomen of the Women’s Literacy Foundation and a brand ambassador for Rexona. Prof. Doulton lives in Sydney’s upper north shore with her dog, Peter.


  1. Hi,

    I am a 20 year old who attends festivals all the time and I know for a fact this will not stop drug use. Infact this will increase overdosing by a lot more as festival goers will try and take as many pills as they can before they enter the festival so it will last them while they are partying.

    • Featival goers who overdose on their drugs at the venue gates are lightweights. If you’re gonna carry the stuff, you gotta be prepared to shoot it, snort it, smoke it, swallow it or shove it up your arse on command. Jim Morrison did it, and he came out better than ever! Remember that set he played at the 2003 Big Day Out? It was unreal! Stop being a wimp and impress the Fuzz with your diligence. I heard they let you off if you can punch a mounded bucket cone in one hit.

    • Festival goers who can’t take all their drugs at the venue gates without overdosing aware lightweights. Quite frankly, they’re embarrassments. If you hold the stuff you gotta be prepared to swallow, snort, shoot, smoke or shove it up your arse on command. Jim Morrison did, and we all remember the killer set he played at Big Day Out 2003! Legendary! I had a mate who was let off once because he crushed every pill he had on him and snorted it right in front of the Fuzz. He set the standard for what diligence is all about man.

  2. if they work use them leave the poor dogs out of it and let these pricks who are using drugs get stung. the ones who are protesting the law are the guilty ones drug users and dealers are disgusting people if it werent for them this wouldnt have to be done they cost the community millions a year with having to foot the bill for this for their rehab their hospital bills they should be left in the street to rot with the rest of the gutter trash

    • Let loose mate we are not costing people shit we pay taxes too you know just because people use drugs doesn’t mean we don’t have some sort of education I have a degree in radiology and have a full time job in my field but love to experiment with the festivities that come with music festivals is that wrong ? No it is not if police can revenue raise from people parking a little funny or Jay walking and gain annual income of over a few million from us doing petty shit like that I think we can do what ever the Fuck we want when it comes to a festival that comes around once a year get fuckdx you little birch

    • What a horribly ignorant and frankly obsoletely moronic Reply Peter Devry, I don’t think I have read such a terrible view on the War on Drugs in a very long time. The War On Drugs is not working in its current form, all its doing is wasting Millions in Taxpayer and Government money. If people want these substances then there is nothing stopping them, it is easier to get illegal Drugs then it is to get alcohol.

      We need to stop treating Drug Users like their the worst humans on the planet, we need to Regulate and Manage Drugs in a safe Government Environment. States in America that have regulated and Safely Produced Weed have had immense success, Crime Rates have gone down along with bringing in Millions of Dollars in Revenue that is being put into Schools and Hospitals.

      Its not Drug Users that are costing us Millions, its old out of time people like yourself that are holding us back as a society and making it harder for all of us to move on. Im amazed and alittle depressed that there are still people like yourself that still have such a Backwards view on Drugs/Drug Safety and just knowledge of Drugs in general.

    • Your all ignorant as hell. Drugs are illegal for the very reason so certain people can make enormous amounts of money. It goes back to the British opium wars and continued through to the CIA backed Nationalist Chinese generals who set themselves up as warlords and drug barons in northern Burma, through to supporting the Afghani warlords against the Russians and later the Taliban
      Locally and in all countries that adhere to the US war on drugs, there are very powerful people in politics and business who continue to make millions from the illegality of drugs.

      • Ahmmm i think maybe you should really think about giving them up dude.
        Or at least slow down. There taking over your brain.
        Sure E.T’s arent involed as well. Maybe thats where the CIA hid them. Saturn or mars. Until your festival started.
        And ufo’s are actually just delivering them to the festival. Cause no one will notice that thier allien’s.
        If ever anyone saw the aliens.
        they just think there hulucinating from the effect.
        A re alien
        Ahh so thats what the starship enterprise is up too.
        To boldly try what no man has tried b4.
        After all look at some of those characters. Now half that grew would have to suffering the effects of something. Just look at at some.
        But then again youd have to be on drugs to watch that shit.
        Kirk would be horrorified if he’d seen whats happen there.
        But then again o guess in the end od agree.
        The cops need to be pulled into line. Let the people take their drug.
        After all you are going to need them once that shit you youth call music starts.
        Any way need to go the bable fish. This one getting two run down from translating all this kind of grap.

    • You obviously have no concept of the ‘real world’ if you think that all drug users and dealers are disgusting, useless and not worth helping. I can guarantee there are people in your life that use drugs and you wouldnt even know it, I dont care who you are or where your from. its a lot more common and not so dark and scary as you have been led to believe, some of the nicest and most genuine people i have met in my life have been drug dealers and especially users. Certainly a lot nicer than being around religous nuts that refuse to see the world around them for what it is. Close minded cock

    • Narrow minded, ignorant and self absorbed.

      And increasingly outnumbered in this ever progressive world.

      Please for everyone’s sake.
      sit at home drink your legal alcohol and smoke your legal cigarettes AND DIE.


    • Dear Peter,

      I’m not here to change your opinion on drug use. I myself am a user of several drugs, and guess what? So are you. You take your morning pills, drink alcohol on weekends and have probably taken a drag of a cigarette once in your life. Congratulations, you are or have been a drug user at one stage in your life. Just because it’s illegal doesn’t make it a ‘drug’.

      The reason this is put in place is to protect the people and protect the dogs, I understand that. But it’s causing more problems that it’s solving. I can guarantee more people are going to go to hospital or die when these are in place from chewing 7 pingers before they go through the gates.

      Stop being ignorant and hating on people because of a single facet of their life. Stop interfering with other people’s lives and live your own. Your words are wasted here.

    • Hey peter,

      All the below reply’s are correct. A person who uses drugs has little reflection on their personality, morals, and life. There is a probable chance there are people close to you that use drugs and you have no idea.
      I am an occupational therapist working in mental health and deal with people who end up on the wrong side of drug use. I have provided drug education sessions, yet am a regular drug user. It’s about how you use your drugs and knowing where to draw the line from recreation to relying.

      Roll yourself a big doobie and enjoy life mate.

    • And what about the millions being spent everyday correcting people like you with their terrible grammar? You might think drug users are disgusting people, but i’ll guarantee that 90% know what a comma, full stop and capital letter is.

      Get off your high horse, champ. Until you can speak properly, your comments look like nothing more than a verbal diatribe.

    • Most the people you know through business or personal have tried drugs.
      A problem drug user is a problem drug user, same goes for alcohol.
      There are a lot of people that use them sensibly for a good time on special occasions.
      What’s wrong with this?

  3. Peter Devry,

    You need to have a hit of a bong mate you’re uptight.

    I’m pretty sure those dogs only agree to patrol festivals so they can see they’re favourite artists, and get loose on psychedelics. They’re not getting overworked, they love it.

    Take a leaf out of the Labrador’s book and get something in your blood stream.


    Alex White (Chairman of Sick Times)

  4. Peter Devry you sound exactly like the type of person that just needs to munch a gram of clean MDMA and then eat your own face.

  5. I’m not one for drug use but this statement by Scipione; “either eat all your tablets out the front – or take a gamble with the 3D zapper” is completely irresponsible. How do we let such figures stand in such positions of authority and make irresponsible statements like this? He might as well say “overdose or get caught and punished”, or, “die or ruin your life”. It just shows how LITTLE they care for the festival goers actual safety.

  6. I’m literally a “long haired art student”, brunette in fact, and I’d appreciate people not labeling us as drug users. I’ve never taken any in my life. And I went to USYD too. I know plenty of science students who are though so please before you make generalizations the least you can do is include everyone, students and non students. An age band could have been used, just don’t go around making art students who do the right thing look bad.
    Good job Scipione, I support your persistence.

  7. Either eat all your drugs at the front and risk over-dosing or risk a permanent criminal record,

    Drug legislation should be focused on providing treatment for users, education of the risks and harsh penalties for trafficking,

    not persecuting recreational users

  8. I hope this will mean more people take drugs beforehand and overdose! If you can’t have a good time without drugs you must have a pathetic life. The police should be doing more with stricter penalties.

  9. Drugs will always be around prescription or non moderation is key in everything we do. Oh and peter go jump off a bridge the world would be better off

  10. Erhm, I would think that at least one of the commenters would take this article less seriously than you have. It’s almost as serious as The Onion articles. They’re pretty opinionated and factual guys, you should check them out.

  11. Drug users and dealers are pathetic and a waste of space. Here’s hoping they all take too much before entering the scanner and die.

  12. Lmfaoooooooo.. what a fkn great article.. best laugh i have had.. commissioner encouraging ppl to od and dogs being put down because they are high and horny. You all know its a bull sht article

    Commissioner is standing firm:

    “I don’t care what they do beforehand. I saw one kid that was so off his head he was out the front dancing to a beeping traffic light – the bottom line is that my dogs are getting

    We had to retire one of our best dogs at the age of four last night because he was so high on ecstasy from sniffing revellers all day, he started behaving in quite a hyper-sexualised manner”


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