24 March, 2016. 10:39
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THE GROUND HAS BEEN BROKEN and construction has started on the controversial expansion of Betoota Airport, giving hope to the local chamber of commerce but sending other members of the community into a rage.
One of those raging against the plan is local mum-to-be Jeanie Kyte.
After reading an article her 34-year-old stay-at-home-mother sister shared on Facebook a few months ago, she became concerned about how the construction noise was affecting her unborn child.
Ms Kyte lives on the edge of the northern boundary of runway three for over a decade now. One known as one of Betoota’s leading socialites, she had a famous falling out with long-time best first Kerri-Anne Wesser. It’s alleged that in the wake of the North Queensland Cowboy’s premiership win last year, Kyte stole Wesser’s last soda charge, selfishly enjoying the nang by herself.
“Dey is for the fucking trucks mate,” she said. “Comin upde down my street all fucken day aye!”
“Me tummy kiddo dun kick me all the time when I outside an truck screm past n de noise n shit.”
Kyte has lodged a formal challenge to the airport expansion with the local council. Rumour is rife that one of the three men on the shire board is the father of Kyte’s unborn child.
“One of them cunts has to listen to me yell. This kiddo belong to one of them.”
Do you know who the father of Ms Kyte’s unborn child is?
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Well, well, little Jeanie Kyte has made it to the front page of the International Press. I know how much that would mean to her. I knew little Jeanie, in the biblical sense, from about four years ago when I was driving a grader out of Birdsville.
On the first Friday of each month, games night at the local boozer, there was the monthly Pants Down, Cock Up and Pass Her Around party game, much favoured by the B&S enthusiasts. I would drive over in the combie van that I lived in.
Now, Jeanie was such a good sport then, and I am sure that she still is now, so I am calling on the council to shove the effing trucks up their collective arses untill she has grunted bubs out into the wonderful world of Betoota.
P.S. Dad not me, I left two years ago. Whew!!!