With Australia currently sitting at 189-2 (Khawaja 87, Smith 44) Captain Smith has kept niggling Crane, pushing towards a low-key hundred partnership that has left Australia in a confident position.

All walks of life have made there way to the Sydney Cricket Ground, in the sold day two test from the Eastern end of the ground, right up through the

While the aristocratic bankers and farming elites sit in the Member’s Stand trading insider information and debating whether the cocaine in Sydney is as good as it was during the 1987 recession, Prime Minister Turnbull has tried his hand in the sun with the plebs, after his media team suggested it might help him in the polls.

This media appearance was shortlived, as Turnbull had returned to the members not even one hour after lunch.

“Oh it was ghastly” says Turnbull.

“When the sun came out, they just began to drink even more. Lord knows how they got so rowdy, did you know they don’t even serve full strength lager in general admission?”

It is believed that Mr Turnbull’s day in bullpen did not recover from an incident that occurred just minutes after his arrival.

“I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hear the commentary from where my media team had me placed, so I brought myself a copy of the AFR. It didn’t take long before some brutish yob spilt an entire Carlton Mid straight into my lap”

While Prime Minister Turnbull says he is thankful that he didn’t end up back in the commentary box again this year, he says it is hard to find many other positives of sitting with the commoners.

“None of them even knew who I was…”

“I mean, there was very little point. Most of them assumed I was a British tourist and kept asking me to look at the score board”

“Thank goodness Lucy banned smoking down there”


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